A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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