I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
