Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
