Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
