Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
