i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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