I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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