currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
