Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
