I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
