My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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