I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
