So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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