Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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