so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
