i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
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Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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