the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
