the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
