sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
