So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
