Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
