He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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