she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
