he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
