wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
