I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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