dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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