i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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