you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
