I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
