she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
