Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
