My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
