You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
