I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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