yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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