We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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