What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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