escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I need a beard to bite.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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