Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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