So drunk its hurt
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
