I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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