If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
