I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
