i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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