I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
