Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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