The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
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Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
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Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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