so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
