I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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