Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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