when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
