dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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