I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
