i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
