if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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